I came across two interesting people explaining two of the brain’s chemicals. Dopamine, the chemical of attention and pursuit, and Serotonin, the chemical of status and calm.
This a vast simplification of as complex a thing as a brain. It’s likely inaccurate. I merely am pointing out these two explanations. How I’ve interpreted them using my limited knowledge, and why I believe this is super important. It’s likely rubbish at the edge of the internet, so it’s safe to move on to something more interesting.
The first explanation is by Sapolsky, the guy who wrote about his Hitler torturing fantasies in his book Behave. As anticipation goes up, Dopamine spikes. When you get a reward, Dopamine returns to a normal level.
I took the word ‘anticipation’ to also refer to an emotion like tension. Like jump scares in a horror film, the greatest tension is created before you see the jump. Jump scares are so effective that horror movie buffs learned to hate them for being cliche. The tension is created before you see the monster jump out, the ‘reward’ in this case being seeing the monster.
Your Dopamine spikes before seeing the monster. It returns to normal as you see the monster. Tension is relieved, the new information of seeing the monster causes the body to switch from flight mode, tension, to fight mode, response. Before your body saw the monster, it was preparing for defense. When it sees the monster, now it must switch to active defense.
Monsters are imagined. In the case of anxiety, a person is able to spend their entire day anticipating the delivery of a package, then feel exhausted when they finally get it. It happened to me once waiting for a computer delivery. I sat there all day, refreshing my email every five minutes. I felt like 'I couldn’t stop until I got the package’. I like to think I’ve learned, the anticipation is still there.
That’s where the second explanation comes. Why is it, that I, someone who am completely safe in my own apartment, afraid of the coming of a package I myself ordered? Why is there such a tug of war of tension going on in my mind when the ending has a very small impact on my life? A delivery won’t kill me, in fact, the delivery was my idea!
How did a delivery turn into danger? Simple. Excitement.
Lustig wrote a book called Hacking the American Mind. I read a review of it. Dopamine is Excitement, it regulates attention. When Dopamine goes up, Serotonin goes down. If you want happiness, you want Serotonin to be high. So, you would need Dopamine to be low. You would need less Excitement. For me, I would need no delivery. If I wanted the happiness of contentment, I would have to avoid asking for delivery.
We already live in a super stimulant environment. Dopamine is always at the crank of all behavior, keeping us moving, keeping us safe and alive and acting. With so much information available, it’s possible to see a jump scare monster coming around every corner for your entire life. For the rest of your life. Even when there is no possible monster. No possible corner to turn to see them.
The delivery comes whether you want it to or not. Especially if you ordered it. The Excitement comes whether you want it or not. Especially if you look for it.
I understood last month after reviewing these two explanations that my self was stretched thin. I identified with too many things. Excitement happened automatically. My mind kept searching for more Excitement. Thank you internet. When I turn down my Excitement Hunting, then engage in contentment behaviors, I shift to a less anxious, excited state. When I stopped hunting for it, happiness happened to me.
"Happiness is like a butterfly, the more you chase it, the more it will elude, but if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit softly on your shoulder."
-Henry David Thoreau
Will you continue to hunt for happiness? Will contentment elude you? What hunt will you choose?